People, making yourself your first priority is of utmost importance. Creating the best version of yourself doesn’t happen by putting everything and everyone else before yourself.
This may mean different things to different people. This topic is not coming from a selfish aspect. I’ve elaborated on this before in a previous post, but selfishness and making yourself a priority are not synonymous in any way. I encourage you to learn the difference.
Moving along, there are three main things we encounter when you become your first priority:
1. Some people are not going to understand or like it
That is okay. They’re not going to understand or like why you’ve chosen to either drift, say no or gravitate towards healthy alternatives for your well-being. You also can’t expect everyone to understand. Your understanding of self outweighs their understanding of you. Inner growth requires you to be number one in your life. People who accept and genuinely want to get to know the new parts of you will make themselves known.
2. Learning, learning, learning
When you make yourself number one in your life, you’re going to learn various things about yourself as you go along.
“I only really went to those places because my friends liked them and that’s what quality time means to them. If the setting were in a place I enjoyed, I wonder if they’d be keen on it too?”
“Wow, never spoke to that person once since I’ve started here, they’re actually pretty cool. Why did I keep myself in a box or put them in one?”
“I loved this guy, but our perspectives and meaning of love were just not on the same wavelength. That’s not something I wantin my ideal partner.”
These are my personal examples. The learning forms part of a reflection too. All this comes from just being with yourself and really listening to your thoughts, emotions and spiritual awakenings. What is it that you really enjoy? What makes you smile? What motivates you? What kind of people do you think complement who you are the best? The learning process never ends and it’s imperative to go out there, do different things and continue learning. For you first.
It’s completely normal to feel an obscene amount of confusion in the beginning of choosing yourself first. For most of your life, you’ve most probably been attending to external sources and relying on them (80% of the time) to influence big decisions for your life. This time, you are your primary influence. Frustrating as it is, confusion is part of the self-discovery journey. Ask for help, but remember to take everything into account. Check with yourself and continuously ask yourself, “Would making this decision contribute to me becoming the best version of myself?” Embracing confusion is a step forward towards clarity.
“Make yourself a priority. At the end of the day, you’re your longest commitment”